-Is it now a requirement that late night NBC TV hosts sport completely absurd hairstyles? Conan has always looked like a giant Irish douche, but I've noticed recently that his infamous parted hair now rises at least 12 inches above his head. And Jay Leno, can a man of his fame and wealth not invest in some Just For Men? What is a mostly white with a little black in front? The majority of PGA events; and Leno's aging mane.
-For reasons unbeknownst to me, I found myself watching Stomp the Yard the other night (never let a dancer of a date choose the movie for the night). Since I didn't have the option to immediately remove the movie from my DVD player as soon as I realized the opening scene was a gang-related dance off, I decided instead to tolerate and laugh at the film for what it was; horrible. As I hinted, the opening scene involves two rival gangs lined up across from each other. Knuckles are cracked. Cold stares all around. The scene is filled with an eager sense of anticipation. It was as this point a boombox started "bumping" shitty hip-hop beats, and the previously terrifying groups of ghetto men lay down their guns and bust a move! And if the fact that grown men are attempting to prove their dominance over a rival by dancing doesn't bring out the realism in the film for you, there is a little midget walking through the crowd taking bets on who will win the dance-off. Two key points here: 1) midgets are awesome, 2) who in their right mind would put a bet down on a dance-off which is questionably decided only by lame audience reaction? For a film that was marketed as a drama/romance aiming to show the realities of the urban dance culture(?), it almost immediately presented itself as one of the tackiest and utterly aweful pieces of cinema I have ever seen. And I only saw the first fifteen minutes of it! After I realized I would rather watch The O'Reilly Factor then finish that lame-ass movie, I told my date to fuck off and put in Honey. I figured if I was going to be forced to watch a poorly-made movie about dancing, I should at least stare at Jessica Alba's body while doing it.
- People are always complaining about degrading rap lyrics. Bitches. Hoes. Pussy. Who dare refer to women with such a lack of respect? How about WOMEN! I was listening to a D12 song the other day, "Pimp Like Me". I found the entire song to be hilarious, but my laughter reached a new plateau when the chorus arrived. It involves Eminem dominately stating "You just a..." and "Your just my...", each followed by a female backing vocal proudly singing "HOOOEEE!" How low does your self-esteem have to be to be that female vocalist? Or how much does Eminem pay?
-How exactly can a pro-lifer support the death penalty?
Until next time,
Nate
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